Car Wreck 07, 4 year anniversary!

January 5th of 2011 is my 23rd birthday. And the 4th anniversary of the day in 2007 when I had a horrendous car wreck that nearly cost me my life.

So in reflecting on my birthday every year, it's not so much about celebrating my birth as being thankful that I made it through the wreck in 2007.

I've realized that many people haven't heard the story, so in as few words as I could manage here it is (I speak of it much more lightly than the actual situation was).

Senior pic 2006

It was my last day at home during my freshman year at college so I dutifully had lunch with my sisters at Katie's elementary school. After lunch I planned to run into town (Cheyenne) to catch up with a few friends and run errands before my birthday party that evening.

Unfortunately on my way to Cheyenne, for reasons then and now unbeknown to me (and only described in a police report from the incident) I went like I was going to take an exit off of the interstate, then decided not to. Either the momentum or some ice caused my car to flip, and it rolled 4.5 times before resting in the median. I, however, had been ejected from the vehicle, smashing my leg into the steering wheel as I careened through the air and landed on the entrance ramp for the opposite side of the freeway (supposedly this flight was over 100 yards). Guesses presume that I landed on my head, possibly in some snow when I came down because I had very (very) few external scratches on me or breaks, yet broke nearly every bone in my face.

I was picked up by an ambulance in critical care and taken to the Cheyenne Regional Hospital, where they determined that I had broken every bone in my face, my femur in 3 places, fractured my 7th cervical vertebrae, and was otherwise in a very critical state. What was amazing here is that the ambulance arrived to the scene within 5 minutes, they had been at the gas station off the ramp that I wrecked at and responded immediately (thank goodness for small towns).

Notice all the broken bones (and teeth) in my face. Can you find all 15?

Later that evening when reviewing a CT scan, the doctors recognized a blood clot forming in my brain. They asked my mother if they should try to operate-the likelihood of survival was not likely. At all. My mother said to operate, and after 10 hours of surgery I lived, still with a slim chance of survival, no chance for normal brain functioning, and every likelihood that I would be in a vegetative state indefinitely-so the doctors presumed based on the severity of the injury.

After the surgery my vitals continued to get stronger and after a few weeks other doctors were brought in to repair my broken femur, the multiple breaks in my face, 5 broken teeth, a broken jaw, and the skin issues I suffered.  When I was brought out from under the anesthetics (I was in a sedated state most times) I was miraculously responding appropriately to the questions being asked of me. My mom remembers that at one point they were asking me questions and I pulled away, refusing to answer because I was tired--she said that's when she knew that I was still there mentally, I can be rather stubborn if I'm tired.

Man my face was Swollen! And my head shaved-bummer

I spent four weeks in the hospital in a sedated state, 2 of which were in the ICU. Occasionally I was woken up for simple physical therapy activities or an exercise of my reflexes. I don't really remember much, except that for one exercise I would sit upright in a chair for a period of time. This was Exhausting (muscles atrophy quickly when you aren't moving them at all), so one time when they left me alone during the exercise, I managed to reach my walker and put myself back to bed--this was the incident that made it so that I had to have a bedside attendant at all times, I kept doing things by myself when the doctors said I couldn't. Otherwise I pretty much slept, my face hurt because it was so swollen, the neck brace they had me in itched, and at one point I complained that my mouth tasted like old sandwich and it really tasted bad (my mouth had been wired shut due to the broken jaw).

Got this from my dentist. notice all the metal (nose, chin) and missing teeth!

In February my health had progressed to the point that I was transferred from the hospital to a rehabilitation center (in Cheyenne with its lack of specialized rehabilitation centers, this consisted of an old folks assisted living home). There I spent two weeks doing group wheelchair therapy and trying to pick up as many hobbies as I could to keep myself from boredom. I also requested to be taken off of all medication (I couldn't remember who my visitors were from one day to the next) so that I could really work on get better--and so I could start communicating with friends and student council members back at school.

Communication was really tough-my mouth had been wired shut since early January and I could barely open my eyes to write because they were so swollen. My friend Aliina remembered that I could nearly text with my eyes closed, so when people would come visit me I would respond by typing out a text to them, eyes closed and all.

Eating was also tough, I was being fed through a tube when I was sedated and they were pumping me full of the stuff-but also because my mouth had been wired shut I had a really hard time opening my mouth wide enough to get food in.  I brag now how my family and friends would sneak food out of my room for me and bring me smoothies so that I could meet the required calorie intake to get off of tube feeding!

Once I was in the old folks home, I started communicating with doctors, friends, and family a lot more frequently. I was hugely fortunate to have an enormous amount of support from the community and my doctors.

And then I started talking about going back to school in San Diego for the next quarter...in April...the April that was a month away.  To this my doctors initially laughed and referenced the strength of medication, but as I continued to bring it up they grew more concerned that I was serious. They said that I still had more surgery to undergo, that I was barely able to walk, that it would be good to stay home with the support of my family. And I told them that I was bored and I had a life and responsibilities to go back to so I needed to leave. At one point I mentioned to my head doctor that I had a plane ticket to return home, and he kindly handed me a list of doctors in San Diego that he said I could call if I needed a specialist. So it was, I was going back to school-it was the best bad decision that I ever made in my life.

Back in SD that summer

At school I struggled. People didn't recognize me due to my shaved head (from the brain surgery) and the massively swollen face. Campus was huge and my broken leg made it tough to get places. I was exhausted from the physical exertion so I wanted to sleep all the time, but I had to do homework and of course attend meetings for all the clubs I was in. I didn't know how to fit in with my friends anymore and I was usually too tired to hang out with them. But I kept trying, and over the course of the three month quarter I started to feel much more like me.  Every year since then I feel like I have moved my life back to the point I should have been, even if it was stalled by three months.

All of it was hard. I felt like my life, a life that was very good and I had worked hard for, had been taken away from me. I struggled with anger and depression, lamenting my misfortune. But most of the time I'd stop myself and remember how fortunate I was just to be alive. And how I should do everything in my power to bring myself back to being the person I was. And I realized that most of the things we complain about daily are really not that big of a deal-take the bad things in life reflect on them, and then figure out how to make them work for you because complaining and being sad about it means your choosing to make your life sad rather than to learn and grow from it.

In Europe with Sun God this summer.

So that is me now. A person who had an awesome life that was put on hold due to a really bad wreck, who recognized that living fully was better than being sad and regretful about circumstances, and who now is one of the most positive, adventurous people you will come across in life. And I'm pretty happy about it all.

Here are some images from the wreck-a few are pretty intense, others are pretty awesome medically. Overall I think it does well to depict my before, then, and now.

Wyoming Seat Belt Commercial

Thanks to all who have been there with me throughout and yay for 23!